What Do You Really Want?
As the year is drawing to a close, I’m reflecting on what went well this year and what might need to change. I’m also looking into 2019 and asking, “What does Cindy want?” In fact, it’s a question that I ask myself when planning trips, when engaging with my clients or when relating to friends and family.
It’s a question that needs to be asked to put all aspects of our lives in alignment with our values, our dreams, our desires.
It’s taken a lot of practice to put myself first––and accepting that it is all right. In fact, it’s necessary. Yet, most of us have been taught that it’s wrong to think of ourselves first, wrong to have desires that may be contrary to those in our lives, and wrong to make changes that are in our best interests.
Brent Chudoba, COO & CFO @Thrive Global, recently penned a blog, “5 Thriving Leadership Lessons.” In it she says, “Work, family, travel, personal interests, being always connected to our devices—this can easily lead to high stress and the feeling of being always on and running around, falling behind, and living in a world of constant catch-up…a lot of us fall into the trap of putting ourselves at the bottom of our own to-do list. We know we should be eating well, getting enough sleep, taking time to do the things that matter most to us.”
Unfortunately, many of us don’t. We believe that the world can’t go on without us, and so we keep on giving when our well of health, vitality and joy is about dried up.
Chudoba, says, “This is exactly the delusion that Thrive is fighting: the delusion that we must burn out in order to succeed.”
Put Your Own Oxygen Mask on First
I know I bring this up repeatedly; however, it’s important. In order to be good leaders, good friends, good parents, good employees, employers, consultants––whatever role we’re living––we must put ourselves first. If we’re not being kind to ourselves, we cannot be kind to others. Eventually, our resentment, our overwhelm, and our inability to connect whole-heartedly with those in our lives will negatively impact our home life, our work life, and our role in the community at large.
Chudoba asks: “How can your team and your family and anyone else who is depending on you feel safe if you are living like this? If you’re running out of oxygen?”
The answer is, you can’t.
As we enter this holiday week, it might be a good idea to carve out some time for you. Reflect upon what it is that you want to experience in your life. Give it a word. Mine is peace. When considering this word, I ask: what is it that I need to do at work to have peace? How can I create more peace with my family, my team, my clients?
You get the idea. Let me know what you discover.
P.S. The audio book is about to be released in time for your holiday shopping. Find out more here: https://www.facebook.com/cindyhensonjungle/
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